- Through whose eyes are you looking when you look at your partner, spouse, marriage, partnership? Your mother’s, father’s, grandmother’s or grandfather’s, your own?
- Can you sense your parents supportively behind you, blessing you to see your partner clearly when you look at her/him, or are you looking for your mother or father in your partner?
- How do you look at your partner’s parents? With gratitude? Judgement? Resentment? Envy? Respect?
- If you are single and prefer not to be, is there anyone in your family or ancestry who had difficulty in or loss of relationships with whom you may be in resonance?
- Is there a place in your heart for your previous loves, fiances’, spouses? Can you acknowledge the place in your partner’s heart for their previous loves?
“Making Love Visible in Partnership” noticings from Lisa:
How, and whether, we show up in partnership has everything to do with how we receive life as a daughter or son.
Our human impulse is to look at one’s partner through the eyes of our parents and grandparents.
If a son or daughter is caught in their parents’ marriage, life force for adult partnership isn’t fully available.
Sometimes husbands try to access their fathers through their wives, and wives try to access their mothers through their husbands. (Thank you, Carola Castilla, who first introduced me to this astute observation.)
There are images in all ancestral blueprints of balanced partnership. The fact that we’re alive is evidence.
Grandchildren are inclined to secretly keep their grandparents company in their hearts.
Children are drawn to their parents’ marriage like moths to a flame. “Our marriage isn’t your business, ” is (out of love) creatively, consistently, brilliantly tested by all daughters and sons, sometimes until they are elders.
These noticings are tip-o-the-family-soul-iceberg. Feel free to quote me.
Best to check out the retreat to learn more.
Details below on the next “Making Love Visible in Partnership” Couples Retreat.
Dates: Sunday, March 19, 2017
Location: Sustainable Living Center. Bellingham, WA
Fee: $300 for couples. $150 for individuals. 10% Family Matters Learning Partners discount.
Email: firstname.lastname@example.org to register.